Poetry Masterclass: Judges' comments

Let's see some reviewers’ comments on award-winning poems before we know just how good our poems are.

What They Look Out For In Poetry Contests

As a home for emerging authors & established voices together, we are looking for poems that express both traditional excellence in craft and a willing fearlessness in content and form. For us, the frontier of poetry is a place where voices—of all colors, ages, orientations, identities— are made equal by a shared belief in the power of language to confront the dark, the vast, the unexplored.

We’ve put together a brief & non-exclusive list of certain craft features we expect good poetry to exhibit:

A thought-out sense of pattern and form. The play of establishing and breaking rhythms is essential—whether it’s within a free-verse block of text, an innovated sonnet, or a good prose poem; we want poetry that is conscious of its own structure & the reasons for it.

Strong body talk. Great poems activate the body of the reader consistently and powerfully. The reader’s body is going to be making the first opinions about your poem, and if you don’t convince his guts, or her wrists, or the small of their back, to join you on the ride, you’ve lost before you begun.

Strong identity as an object of sound. This point dovetails with the body talk: poetry is poetry because of its sonic focus & unique delivery of language sounds. Good poems are slow melting joy in the reader’s mouth, and a surefire way of getting the attention of a reader’s body is by aural seduction.

A unique point of view. The literary world needs fresh voices from fresh places in order to stay relevant and powerful. Unique POVs can be from any culture or any place, just as long as they appreciate and recognize the broadness of where literature is headed. We often look for POVs different from our own and different from what would have filled up the anthologies we read in high school.

A generous view of itself. Often poems will get stuck on an author’s navel-gazing or self-seriousness. Feels clunky and stiff. The poem should be willing to laugh at itself or be open to defeat & vulnerability.

No lazy cynicism. Too much of contemporary poetry wants to employ cynicism as a way to feel fresh. We’ve seen it a lot in submissions, and we don’t think it has a place in mature poetry. Be dark, be bloody, be honest about the brokenness of the world, but don’t be spiritually, intellectually or aesthetically shallow just to show that you’re “edgy”; no shock-jock poetry please;

Democratic language. Poetry should be readable and enjoyable for more than just academics; poetry is as much for working folks as it is for the universities. This means that poets should know what they are doing with their language choices and who they may be excluding.

Judges’ Comments In A Poetry Contest

From the Judges (1):  "One of the poems is a neutron star of a poem compressed inside the restraining machinery of a sestina. it's a dark allegory of six boys in a field, but I did not realize it was a sestina until a second reading, when I started to work out what the boys were up to, and what part the far from passive field was playing in these coming-of-age rituals with their compelling rhythm and mantra-like repetitions. The form is a perfect container for the interlinked themes: an interrogation of unchecked masculinity and our destructive relationship with each other and with the natural world. The barbaric impulses enacted are interwoven to offer us a somber and precisely wrought fable for out times. That farm animals are involved is significant and points to a visionary eco-poem and still I thought I had not quite got to the bottom of it. As the weeks passed, it would haunt me like a recurring dream. Reading it aloud at our judging meeting. I felt the hair on the back of my neck rise. The poem's mnemonic force and seriousness drew it to the top of the pile, to become our winner." 

From the Judges (2):  "Looking back through the notes I'd made to myself on one of the poems on my first reading, I see I've written a huge tick on it, and then written "I love this" at the side. This is a quite remarkable poem, heartbreaking and affirming in equal high language ("the slightest touch of grace") and plain insight which cuts through everything ("tell the one who detests the queerness in you"). As we were making our poem. full of an aching, a yearning and yet stillness too, as though standing at a high window, and looking outwards."

Take a break and savor poetry

POEM 1

COMMITMENT

Commitment is being bound emotionally or intellectually to another person or action course

It’s true that we can’t all be committed to all things

But a life without commitment is a life without focus

To prove ourselves responsible, we must be committed to some things

Hence, ‘I will try’ or ‘I will do my very best’ are not good enough.

It should be, ‘I must make a commitment to succeed’.

Parents are committed to loving and caring for their children

Children are committed to loving and obeying their parents

Wives are committed to loving and submitting to their own men

Husbands are committed to loving and sticking to their wives

Hence, ‘I will try’ or ‘I will do my very best’ are not good enough.

It should be, ‘I must make a commitment to be there for my family’.

Students are committed to their diligent studies

Athletes are committed to their daily self-improvement

Workers are committed to giving their time and life to their duties

Employers are committed to the business survival and development

Hence, ‘I will try’ or ‘I will do my very best’ are not good enough.

It should be, ‘I must make a commitment to excel’.

Social animals need to be able to turn to another

A friend is committed to showing himself friendly

No man is an Island; humans are made to need one another

Best friends stick closer than brothers or are more sisterly

Hence, ‘I will try’ or ‘I will do my very best’ are not good enough.

It should be, ‘I must make a commitment to love and serve mankind’.

There is nothing that life can throw at us

That an earthly or heavenly friend cannot handle

A positive mental and physical attitude is good for us

Our discouragement has no answer for us if we always let it untangle

Hence, ‘I will try’ or ‘I will do my very best’ are not good enough.

It should be, ‘I must make a commitment to always be positive’.

There are many things that we can do

But there are very few things that we will be celebrated for

A dogged determination is needed for what we must do

Our purpose we must have passion for

Hence, ‘I will try’ or ‘I will do my very best’ are not good enough.

It should be, ‘I must make a commitment to be somebody’.

Without commitment, if life could box us to a corner

Without help from friends, families, well-wishers or foes

Then our lives will be without bearing or like that of a loner

We would be lost or confused or worse

Commitment will see us through the difficult times.

by Oti Atse Le Fun

POEM 2

PASSION

The road to success is long and full of rejections

They’re there to send one back home dejected and frustrated

Also to kill one’s zeal and tire one out without all actualizations

So one needs fire in one’s belly to make it and get things situated

Passion is all intense, compelling, burning emotional desires

That dog-headed, tireless determination and enthusiasm

To actualize one’s goals or for a person one admires

In the multitude and magnitude of heated feelings without defeatism

To get passion is to realize how badly one wants to achieve success

From a person’s internal state of being as an optimist

In spite of more oppositions like age, race, where you’re from, your sex

Level of education, words of haters, mockers and pessimists

The positive affinity and drive of some young people

To go after their dreams and realize their ideals

As they know that their talents must be discovered, they don’t fumble

“Yes,” “yes” are all the responses they believe in, not the opposing ideas

But after enjoying the limelight in decades of pleasant things

When they don’t knock for doors to open to them by themselves

They lose their passion and that may mean losing everything

And none may believe in one anymore when one doesn’t believe in oneself

They forget how to push to get what they want

After all, they didn’t need push anymore to have live interviews,

Their faces on mag covers, fans tripping over them, producers hunt,

People licking their boots, TV reality shows and millions of followers, views

But if one can hold on to one’s dreams passionately

One can turn “no” answer to “yes” by that spirit, fervor, ardor

Whosoever lets one off is their loss completely

Without them, one could make it one way or another

by Oti Atse Le Fun

POEM 3

DAYSTAR

I like to be like you, you inspire me to my face

All living rejoice to see you every time you appear

Food produces their food only when you surface

You’re great, you’ve been here and you’re still here

Your presence has affected every life in all generations

You’re no stranger but popular to everyone

You can’t be forgotten or ignored when you visit nations

You can’t be arrested or caged by anyone

Without passport, you’re invited to greet all with such warmth

Without visa, none can hinder or hide from you

While adoring you, frosty melts when you shine to show your worth

No one can change the season with a commanding heat like you

Mr. Dawn can’t fully brighten without you following behind

You don’t let those that surround you witness darkness always

There’s no weeping of night when you don’t hide

You always favor the joy of morning in all your ways.

As a celebrity, you’re a brightly shining star already

Greater than all the others for you’re unique

Without you, earth will be like a mortuary

The moon has no way to shine without your full light or wink

You govern the day and rule over it, no denial

You usher in times, seasons, days and years

You’re as constant and reliable as a sundial

You’ve been faithfully committed to your course for donkey years

by Oti Atse Le Fun

POEM 4

MY SPECTACLES

I wear my spectacles

To put up a wall

That stops me from being a spectacle

To the sight of all

I call them sunshades

When under the sun at high noon

And I need them to hide myself in dark shades

So that to the eyes of all, I won’t be seen

My specs are my official order

That prohibits all from seeing my soul

I may put on my designer shoes, even my prada

But I must always wear my specs to make me whole

I never go anywhere without my dark sun glasses

So when I was up close in a personal stance

With my dream girl, my racing heart, she had the aces

I couldn’t let her see my nervousness

So I wore my goggles with the muscular twitching on my face

Some call them working tool for eyes protection

Or intellectual looks inspirer or “shade up” or “no face”

They’re my disappearance gadget and travel companion

by Oti Atse Le Fun

WRITING POETRY

Most born writers find it easier to write poetry simply because it’s a lot shorter and could be as powerful as writing short stories, if not more powerful. I see poetry as short stories too.

Non-Rhyming Poems

When I want to write a poem, I simply write the short story extra concise and as powerful as I possibly can make it.

Rhyming Poems

After writing the short story really short and powerful, I begin to think of ways of adding rhyme schemes to the piece of creative writing, line by line. These could be couplet (two consecutive lines sounding alike at the last words on the line). Or alternate (a first line sounding like the third, and the second like the fourth, at their end words.)

In every four-line stanza, there’re cases when two lines would rhyme and the other two won’t. Nevertheless, the power of the words should not be compromised.

Constantly putting already written work into rhymes really involve flipping through different words on the alphabet to find two that sound alike and still best fits.

Like all pieces of creative writing, a poem could be for storytelling, information, entertainment, education and escapism. There’re different contests, prizes and awards for writing poetry as well that a born writer could enter for. But some of them need you to have several poems. So keep writing because you need to be an award-winning author.

Lesson 6

LESSON 6 – KNOW HOW TO CAPTURE MOMENTS

To be a good writer, you have to know how to capture moments worth capturing, the right moments. You just don’t seize the moments, you capture them. You just don’t tell about them, you show them.

You’ve to be able to show details of the romance and the romantic feelings without seeming boring, if you’re writing a romantic novel, for example. This is everything. Being able to see details in the things that others overlook is what makes you a great writer. James Cameron wrote, the Titanic, he also directed the movie. This is a love story set on a ship that sank long before he was born. So in other to get a detailed, love story from the actual events, he had to do a lot of research about the Titanic and similar ships, to be able to convince all, if possible, that his story about the Titanic was real or seemed realistic.

His research had to cover not only the big, important, things about the engineering designs, the alloy steel used to build the ship, et cetera, but also the little things. He had to be able to see it based on the data collected and similar ships he witnessed while learning about the Titanic. I praised him for remembering the rats that were running for shelter when the flooding started from the lower deck up. A tiny thing like that might make the difference between something realistic and not.  

Lesson 5

LESSON 5 – DON’T STOP THE FLOW

Write when the ideas are flowing. If your laptop isn’t handy, talk into a tape recorder or get a pen and a notebook. And just keep writing until you get stuck. You’ll research about what you’ve written about later so don’t stop for them; stop because you had written about all that was on your mind.

You’ll always crosscheck when you’re proofreading or editing again and again, and again. So why stop the flow for it when you’re writing the uncountable millions of ideas in you while they are deluging through you?

Before you write, you may just jot down the title and be jotting outlines until you’ve enough points for the book or to begin some chapters with. Then you write without stopping.

Lesson 4

LESSON 4 – ANALYTICAL MIND

If you’re a born writer, then naturally you’ve an analytical mind. That means that if you begin with an idea or a title for a new book to write about, your mind will keep giving ideas on how to keep building up the story. The ideas that come to you, you shouldn’t ignore. They may be from the things you see and do, the things you see others doing or the things that you watch.

So a born writer doesn’t need to gather people giving him/her conflicting ideas: they know what they want to write about, all they need are detailed descriptions from time to time. These come to them too.

We have to know that writing a good book is not a day’s job. I may not even be done in a year; unless you put your analytical mind to work more constantly by neglecting your sources of livelihood and concentrating on writing the book. Which is to say; the more you concentrate on a particular thought, the more ideas you’ll get about it. But your perfectionism will keep you correcting the ideas that are not best to make the book as interest as possible.

Lesson 3

LESSON 3 – PERFECTIONISM

A perfectionist is someone that believes in the quality and state of being perfect or complete or wanting nothing requisite. It’s belief in excellence: the highest attainable state or degree of excellence. So perfectionism is a dislike for anything less than perfection. 

Perfectionism makes you your worse critique. You’ll never be satisfied if the work you have created by writing is less than excellent, so you want to go through it again and again, and again. If you get tired, you put it aside for another day to go through it again. But you can never give it out unless it’s just perfect.

But also writers could hire the services of editors, reviewers and the like.

Perfectionism from a perfectionist could be seen in every part of their life, not just in writing, but we’re discussing writing here.

Please note that perfectionism is not a condition like obsessive compulsive disorder.

But if you’re a perfectionist, even when you read other people’s works, you read to critique: looking beyond the words to see what the writer is doing. What decisions and choices did the writer make, and why you think he or she did that? What works for you, and what doesn't? Why?

Lesson 2

LESSON 2 – IMPROVEMENTS

Writing gives you the opportunity of improvement and the first improvement is self-improvement.

i. Self-improvement

Writing and writing all the time means that you’ll always edit what you write. This automatically helps to improve you: your vocabulary, spellings, writing skills, reading ability, discipline and looking out for other writers.

Yes, you may attend some workshops and trainings on writings: this you started doing when you were learning English or the language you’re writing in, learning how to read and write, right from kindergarten. After all the learning, put your learning to practice by writing and writing, and writing.

You may write a lot of paragraphs and delete a lot too, but that’s how you make discoveries, improve your writing and strengthen your voice.

Some writers improve themselves by disciplining themselves to write maybe half an hour or one hour every day, compulsorily. I don’t believe in that. I like to continue my writing when I have more juicy ideas path to follow, otherwise, I wait for it: which could mean that I spent four hours writing one day, then over the next couple of day, I keep collecting ideas that come to me and continue writing maybe four/five days later. So it’s always about how much of your heart you can pour into your writing.

Always read other people’s works. This is very important. The best writers are passionate readers. You can still always learn something from others: big, small, rich or poor. But refuse to steal other people’s ideas. Be original, that’s how you can stand out and have a place among celebrated writer.

ii. Improvement of others

As a writer, you also get to make others better people with the magazine articles, poems, screenplays, eBooks and books that you write. You, by your words will touch people’s hearts and lives, for good, I hope. You’ll encourage, inspire and offer up-and-coming authors the opportunity of meeting their role models that understand their cravings to create a whole new world that would interest their readers and help them to escape this world of limitations that they now experience.

Though you may be humbled, challenged, criticized and your work rejected.

Also you will be inspired, energized, favored and hopefully honored in contests, through prizes and awards.

Just get ready to write your hearts out!

Lesson 1

There are many lessons to learn in being a writer:

LESSON 1 – START NOW

Don’t delay your writing assignments to when you’re excellent in all the grammatical subtopic that you need to know in English before you begin to write, start now. You’ll ever be learning anyway, so why delay? It’s not like you’re going to publish your work right away.

Even after you’ve acquire some writing skills you may later decide to change your style of writing from maybe writing in the third person, past tense to present tense in the first person, if you say you need to acquire more skills for that too, how else will you acquire them if you're not writing?

Don’t believe in writers’ block. If you’ve run out of ideas or if you’re tired, then stop and rest. Sometime later or another day, the idea path to follow would come to your mind, and it would be as good as you want the book to be.

So don’t continue to wish that one day you will want to be a writer, do something about it now!

Sometimes after you’ve written a long piece and you’re now editing, you would find out that some lines are just circumnavigating, so you may want to cut them off to make your work grammatically correct as well as passing the communicative information across using short and precise sentences. This too can make you cut off some more words. Then the much written work becomes far less than you thought you’ve written. But that’s okay. You are getting better doing what will profit you in the future.

What should matter to you, ultimately, is how well the story is told. You may discover that some lines that slowed down the reader while reading your story also slowed you down while writing the story. This is because while writing that portion, you were trying to be technically correct but you left off writing from your heart momentarily. Sometimes those lines should be removed from the story.